Trapped in WalMart
by Blonde Archer
Summary: The Fellowship plus Faramir, Arwen and Eowyn go to Wal-Mart so Gandalf can buy his polka CD, but they end up staying longer than they expected! CHAPTER 10 IS NOW UP!
1. Paychecks and Polka

I know, I know, I really should be updating TTOMAP (The Tricks of Merry and Pippin), but I'm suffering from some major writer's block with that story. I thought of this one night while trying to get to sleep. It's kind of weird, but really funny. I'm writing chapters in my notebook and am almost done with chapter 2, so that should give me a head start. I'll probably update faster this way. This is a Fellowship in modern day fic (well obviously, they don't have Wal-Marts in Middle Earth). Now, without further ado, I bring you:  
  
Trapped in Wal-Mart  
  
Disclaimer: If I really owned Lord of the Rings, do you really think I would be sitting here writing stories about people getting stuck in Wal- Mart? Oh, and for the record, I don't own Wal-Mart either.  
  
The Fellowship plus Arwen, Faramir, and Eowyn, sat around doing nothing. Well, nothing constructive that is. The four hobbits sat around the electric fire and Legolas and Boromir (who is NOT dead) were in front of the T.V. flipping through the channels. Aragorn was talking with Faramir and Arwen. Eowyn was listening to CDs and Gimli was playing on his Gameboy. All of the sudden, Gandalf burst into the room covered head to foot in snow.  
  
"Yes!" he cried, "I finally got my paycheck! Now I can finally get that polka CD I've been wanting!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Legolas said lazily from where he sat, his eyes never leaving Wheel of Fortune, the only remotely good show on. "Just close the door before we all freeze!"  
  
Gandalf shut the door and turned to look at his pathetic excuse for roommates. "Well?"  
  
"Well what?" questioned Boromir.  
  
"What are you all waiting for?" the wizard looked at the blank looks on his friend's faces. "We have to go to Wal-Mart!"  
  
Ten minutes later Aragorn was starting up their junky orange suburban(A/N: Recognize this?).  
  
Why do we have to go to Wal-Mart?" Legolas whined, "Why can't we go somewhere else? I'm sure they sell polka CDs at other places!"  
  
"Don't tell me you're still upset about that paint incedent! That was over four years ago!" exclaimed Gimli.  
  
Four years ago, while Legolas was in the paint section looking for paint to paint the walls of their old house (the one they had before they got evicted because Gandalf forgot to pay the rent), a Wal-Mart employee who was up an a ladder getting some stain down for a customer, slipped and almost fell off of the ladder. The employee was fine, but he had dropped the stain and it happened to fall and spill all over Legolas.  
  
"Well you would be mad too if someone dropped icky brown stuff all over you!" Legolas replied, "Besides, it took me two weeks to get it out."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"We're here!" shouted Gandalf from the passenger seat. "Hurry up and find a parking place Aragorn!"  
  
Before Aragorn could respond, Gandalf leaned over and jerked the steering wheel to the left and into a parking place. The only reason they didn't crash was because everyone else parks as close as the can to the doors on snowy days like this. "There," he said satisfied.  
  
Aragorn sighed and got out of the car along with everybody else.  
  
"Gandalf," Pippin complained, "Why do we always have to park so far away? I can't even see Wal-Mart from here!"  
  
"Uh Pippin, that's because you're facing the wrong way," Merry pointed out.  
  
"Ohhh."  
  
"Fool of a Took!" Gandalf muttered.  
  
"Let's just go in and get this over with. I've got a Gameboy game to return to." Gimli said.  
  
So the group of twelve set off on the long journey to the doors.  
  
A/N: Did you like it? It's not too exciting or funny yet, but trust me, it gets better. I don't know when I'll post chapter two, it depends on how many reviews I get. So please review! 


	2. Fashion Senseless and the Holy DVD

Arggh! I feel sooo stupid!!!! *author whacks herself on the head* I wrote this last weekend and put it through the document manager thing, but I forgot to actually post it! I went to check my reviews today and I had none for chapter two and I thought that no one reviewed it until I noticed that I had only one chapter posted! That's got to be one of my biggest blonde moments yet. (no offense to any blondes, I am one!) Anyway, I would first like to say thank you to all of my reviewers, but I'm curious MyOwnLittleWorld, how did you possibly manage to get trapped in Wal-Mart??? I guess that makes a pretty interesting story...  
  
OK, enough of my babbling, here's chapter two of  
  
Trapped in Wal-Mart  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings or Wal-Mart. In fact, I don't even own the joke Pippin tells. I read that on a string cheese wrapper. I think I might own some string cheese though. I should go check. Anyway...  
  
When they finally got to the doors, the Fellowship and friends were barely recognizable; they were covered in so much snow.  
  
"Small flurries my beard," snorted Gimli, who looked like a giant snowball, "That's the last time I listen to THAT weatherman!"  
  
"OK everyone, I'm off to the electronics section," Gandalf said, and with that he was gone.  
  
"Eowyn and I are going to the clothing department!" Arwen announced.  
  
"I'm gonna be at the food!"  
  
"Me too!"  
  
One by one the friends departed to different places of the store. It turned out like this: Gandalf, of course, was at the electronics trying to find his polka CD. Frodo and Sam were in the food department. Faramir and Aragorn had been dragged by their wives to the clothes to give their opinion on the outfits Arwen and Eowyn try on and answer questions like "Does this make my butt look big?" and "Do I look fat in this?" Boromir was with Gimli looking at Gameboy games and Merry and Pippin were annoying Legolas, who, having nothing better to do, was browsing the DVDs.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Faramir, honey, which dress looks better on me?" Eowyn asked, holding up two dresses.  
  
"Uhh...I like the first one, I guess." Truth was Faramir didn't think either one was very flattering, but he wasn't about to tell his wife that.  
  
Eowyn gave him a sharp look before saying "You're just picking a random one, aren't you? Don't you give me that look, I can tell. I guess I had better go consult Arwen, who actually has some fashion sense!" She stomped back into the dressing room.  
  
The two men watched her go.  
  
"How does she do that?" Faramir asked in wonder.  
  
"Females," Aragorn said, "You just can't beat 'em."  
  
"Ain't that the truth."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Hey Legolas, why was the elf depressed?" Merry asked.  
  
"Because he had two little halflings following him around talking constantly," Legolas muttered under his breath. The two hobbits had been annoying him with lame jokes. He was about to snap. It was bad enough to be in a store he hated without being followed.  
  
"Give up?" Pippin asked excitedly, "Because he had low elf-esteem! Get it? Low ELF-esteem!"  
  
Legolas groaned.  
  
"Hey here's another. Why did the-"All of the sudden, it was silent. Legolas turned around to see if the hobbits were all right.  
  
Merry and Pippin were looking in awe at a movie. Pippin cautiously extended his hand and grabbed Monty Python and the Holy Grail Special Edition DVD.  
  
"The most brilliant move ever," Merry whispered.  
  
Then, without warning, the cousins started shouting.  
  
"Hey Legolas, can we get it?"  
  
"Can we? Can we?"  
  
"Oh pleeeeeaaaase!"  
  
They were climbing all over the distraught elf, tugging on his tunic, hair, anything they could get their hands on.  
  
"Be quite! Get off of me!" Legolas looked down at the DVD they had shoved in his hand. "No way we're going to get this!" he exclaimed. "This movie is the stupidest, dumbest, most idiototic thing-"  
  
Boromir came up behind Legolas. "Hey, what's up?" He spots the DVD in Legolas's hand. "Whoa, is that Monty Python and the Holy Grail Special Edition DVD? I love that movie! Can we get it Legolas? Please? Pretty please with sugar on top? Huh? Can we?"  
  
Legolas just sighed.  
  
A/N: Now I know why I probably forgot to post this: last Friday was Friday the 13! And I thought nothing unlucky had happened that day! Oh well, sorry about the wait and this time I will make sure this is done right so you can read it! 


	3. Pickles and Getting Lost

Wow, this story is getting more reviews than I thought it would. To think, this all started when I was trying to get to sleep one night...  
  
Anyway, thank you reviewers!!! Here are some things I would like to clarify:  
  
You're right. I'm kind of glad Tolkien isn't around to read all of this. Who knows what he would think, me trapping his characters in a Wal-Mart store.  
  
Hey, just wondering, did any of you see the Academy Awards the other night? Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King was nominated for 11 awards and it won them all! That was awesome!  
  
Okie-dokie (that's a cool word!) here is chapter 3 of Trapped in Wal-Mart.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any Lord of the Rings characters. I do however own the string cheese I am eating. Unfortunately it is not the kind with the jokes on it.  
  
Now, as time went on, people slowly left the Wal-Mart store as the weather outside got worse and worse. Of course our friends the Fellowship and Co. are too stupid to realize this.  
  
Meanwhile, Gandalf is in the Polka section and is down to two CDs, but he can't decide which one he wants.  
  
"Party Polka or Polka Dots? Hmm... They both look so good..."  
  
The wizard was deep in thought when suddenly something tapped his shoulder.  
  
"Who dares disturb Gandalf the Grey-I mean White?!" He spun around, knocking some CDs off of the rack, to face a very scared Peregrin Took.  
  
"W-well Aragorn t-told me to g-g-go and see if y-you were done p- picking out your CD yet," the hobbit stammered. "He said you take too much time."  
  
"Hmph! A wizard never takes too much time! Nor does he take too little! He takes precisely what he means to! Now go and leave me be!"  
  
As Pippin left, Gandalf turned to the CDs he had knocked off of the rack. "Hmm... What's this? Polka Madness Volume 2?" he looks at the other two CDs in his hand, "What to get, what to get...?"  
  
{============================================================}  
  
Frodo and Sam were parading around the food aisles. They were laden down with chips, crackers, ice cream, string cheese...everything they could carry.  
  
"Hey Sam! Why don't we get some pickles? I haven't had a pickle in a long time."  
  
"No Mr. Frodo, I don't like pickles. They upset my stomach they do. Now why don't we get some of those nice tasty jalapenos..."  
  
"Oh come on Sam, one little jar won't hurt." Frodo went to pick up a rather large jar of pickles but ended up dropping it because of everything else he was carrying. The jar shattered into a million pieces, splashing pickle juice and pickles everywhere.  
  
Sam and Frodo both looked down at the broken jar then back up at each other. There was only one thing to do at a time like this: Run.  
  
The hobbits dashed through the aisles wildly. This wasn't the first time they had broken something in Wal-Mart and the punishment was to either pay for what they had wrecked (usually not the case since they were always broke) or do service hours there. Frodo hated service hours. Last time they had to clean the bathrooms. It still puzzled him why people would clog up the toilets. What was so exciting about that anyway? People doing service hours just had to unclog them.  
  
Frodo and Sam kept running until they crashed into and equally terrified Pippin.  
  
"What are you doing here?" they asked at the same time.  
  
"Well, I was telling Gandalf that Aragorn said he needed to hurry up and the guy sort of freaked out. I don't think he likes me much," Pippin said.  
  
"Sam and I broke a jar of pickles."  
  
"Again?" cried Pippin.  
  
"Now you leave me out of this Mr. Frodo. I told you not to get 'em but you didn't listen to your old Samwise, did you?"  
  
Frodo looked shamefully at his feet.  
  
"Frodo, you should really ask Boromir, Legolas, or even Gimli to get the pickles for you. Every time you try to get some you end up dropping them," Pippin counseled. "Why can't you buy the ones in the plastic container?"  
  
"But Pippin, you know those taste like plastic..."  
  
Sam and Pippin sighed. Suddenly, Sam looked up. "Hey, anyone know where we are?"  
  
Frodo looked around. He had been running so fast he hadn't paid any attention to where he was going.  
  
"Great," Sam moaned. "We're lost!"  
  
"No we aren't," said Pippin brightly. "I know exactly where we are. Follow me!"  
  
Frodo and Sam got up and, against all their instincts, followed Pippin.  
  
A/N: PLEASE review. PLEASE. ; P 


	4. Choking and Decisions

YAY! IT'S SPRING BREAK!!!!!! Yeah, I know it's Thursday, but I've been busy all week. Thank you to all reviewers, you seem to like this. Anyway, this chapter is a bit longer than most of my chapters just because I was stuck in our car with nothing to do for 5 hours as we drove to the park we were camping at. I hate driving long distances. I get so bored in the car and somehow I always end up fighting with my sister (this time it was over MY CD player). Well, I'll shut up and type the story now.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own anything you recognize.  
  
Aragorn was mad. They had been in Wal-Mart for over four hours now and Gandalf still hadn't made his decision. Or had he?  
  
Aragorn checked his watch. He had sent Pippin to tell Gandalf to hurry up half an hour ago. Where was the hobbit?  
  
He sighed and went back to trying not to vomit as Arwen came out of the dressing room wearing something only and orc would find fashionable.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Pippin wandered aimlessly through the aisles, Frodo and Sam not far behind.  
  
"Why did we agree to follow him?" Sam asked regretfully, "He has no clue where he's going."  
  
All of the sudden, Pippin stopped. "Hey look! Pickles!" He pointed at a bunch of pickles lying on the ground and promptly began eating them.  
  
Frodo and Sam looked at each other, puzzled. Why hadn't the Wal-Mart employees cleaned the mess up? Frodo shrugged and went to join Pippin. Pickles just lying out in the open were just too much for him to resist.  
  
Sam shook his head at the two, stuffing their faces with pickles, then announced he was going to be in the next couple of rows, trying to find anything that looked familiar.  
  
"Is this the jar of pickles you broke?" Pippin asked once Sam was out of earshot.  
  
Frodo nodded, his mouth too full of pickles to talk.  
  
"Well, you did a good job. You got the whole pickles though. I'm more of a spear-type hobbit myself. You?"  
  
Pippin looked up when Frodo didn't answer.  
  
"Frodo, why aren't you answering me? And why are your hands at your throat? Is your throat itchy?"  
  
Frodo shook his head and pointed to his throat, trying to make Pippin realize that he is choking on a pickle.  
  
"Oh my gosh Frodo! You're turning blue! How do you do that? You're gonna have to teach me how to that sometime."  
  
Frodo was indeed turning blue, and now feeling dizzy from lack of oxygen. How could Pippin be so stupid?  
  
Suddenly, realization dawned on Pippin. "Frodo, are you CHOKING?!"  
  
As if Frodo could answer; not that he didn't try. He nodded his head violently, but Pippin, instead of helping him, just sat there like a dead duck. (A/N: My sister thought of the dead duck thing.)  
  
"Wow," he said quietly, "I've never seen anyone choke in real life before."  
  
Just then, Sam came walking around the corner, Aragorn, Arwen, Faramir, Boromir, Legolas, Eowyn, Merry, and Gimli following. Sam caught sight of Frodo and ran quickly to his side.  
  
"Pippin you idiot! Why aren't you helping him?" Sam asked furiously as he started doing the Heimlich maneuver on Frodo.  
  
"I didn't know what to do," Pippin said, "Every time I see someone choke on T.V. Boromir comes in and changes the channel to Barney."  
  
Everyone, including Frodo and Sam, turned and looked at Boromir, who blushed.  
  
"I...uh...ummm..." Boromir tried to think of a good excuse, but failed.  
  
"Riiiiiight..." said Aragorn, "Has anyone seen Gandalf? I need to talk to him."  
  
"I think he is still in the CDs," Pippin suggested.  
  
"Well let's go there then. It's getting pretty late and I want to get home before dark."  
  
"Wait for Mr. Frodo and me!" cried Sam who had just dislodged the pickle from Frodo's throat. Frodo looked as if he never wanted to see a pickle again.  
  
"Hurry up."  
  
******************************************************************  
  
Gandalf's mind was going crazy. Never before had he had such a difficult decision. He had discarded Polka Dots shortly after discovering Polka Madness Volume 2. Now he was torn in two. Part of him wanted Party Polka and the other part wanted Polka Madness Volume 2.  
  
He had been thoroughly satisfied with Polka Madness Volume 1, but the name Party Polka just seemed to jump out at him.  
  
Gandalf's love for polka had gone back a long way. He just couldn't seem to get enough of the music. He was the president and founder of Polka Lovers Anonymous (PLA) and even had a shirt made that said on the front: "I'm a polka person!" and on the back it said: "Let's party POLKA style!" For some strange reason he couldn't figure out, his roommates wouldn't let him wear that shirt in public.  
  
"Probably because of the color," he thought, "What's wrong with a pink and purple tie-dye shirt though?"  
  
The wizard was still thinking about polka shirts when Aragorn ant the rest came up to him.  
  
"Gandalf, I'm sorry, but we have to go now. Make a choice fast," Aragorn.  
  
Gandalf looked down at the CDs in his hands then back up to Aragorn. "Can't I just get them both?"  
  
"No," the Ranger said firmly.  
  
"Fine"  
  
Gandalf again studied the CDs before choosing Polka Madness Volume 2. "Let's go."  
  
As they walked towards the front of the store, Gandalf fished through his pockets trying to find the money.  
  
"Uh oh," he said.  
  
"What do you mean 'Uh oh'?" Legolas asked, his joy from the thought of finally leaving Wal-Mart fading.  
  
"I forgot to cash my paycheck," Gandalf said faintly.  
  
Legolas slapped himself in the face as the others groaned.  
  
A/N: Polka Lovers Anonymous is something my friend Julia made up. Please review! Oh yeah, I might have got that maneuver thing wrong; I'm not quite sure what the name of it is, but it's the thing you do to someone who is choking. 


	5. Trapped and Former Employees

Yeah! I just made 1st chair in band!!!! Sorry, I've never been 1st chair before. I always seem to get 2nd. Anyways, I'm in a good mood so I'm updating. Thank you all reviewers, I love to hear what people think of my writing! This chapter is kind of short because I wrote it in my tent over spring break and my flashlight started to go out.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Wait! *digs in pocket* I DO own my little tiny blue stapler that I just got today in English for writing the best poem in my class! I'm considering posting it on fictionpress, but then I have to make an account there... ANYway...  
  
"What do you mean you forgot to cash your check?" Eowyn asked, "How could you forget?"  
  
Gandalf didn't answer. He looked like a child who just found out that Christmas had been canceled. He looked up solemnly at Aragorn.  
  
"Aragorn, I have to ask you to do something very important for me," Gandalf pleaded, "Will you please take this to the bank for me?" Gandalf handed the check to Aragorn, who sighed.  
  
"You'll have to come with me."  
  
Gandalf turned to Merry.  
  
"Meriadoc Brandybuck, I appoint you to the task of- wait, no, I don't trust you. Let's see, Gimli, son of Gloin, I know how much you prize the gift of technology and electronics, therefore I am appointing you to the task of guarding my most prized possession at the moment, my compact disk, Polka Madness Volume 2."  
  
"That was a rather long sentence," Sam whispered to Merry, who was still flustered about not being trusted by Gandalf.  
  
Gimli looked confused at first, then shrugged. "Whatever."  
  
"Let's go then," Aragorn said and he grabbed the wizard's hand.  
  
They were halfway to the door when the lights went out.  
  
"What happened?!" Gandalf yelled.  
  
Aragorn rushed to the door as fast as he could in the dark. There it was lighter from outside. He pressed his whole weight against the door. It didn't budge.  
  
"Just as I thought."  
  
He looked out of the glass and could barely make out the figure of the Wal-Mart manager, battling his way to his car through the snow, which was already starting to pile up by the doors.  
  
Gandalf came scrambling up beside the distraught Ranger.  
  
Aragorn said the words that sealed their fate.  
  
"We're locked in."  
  
************************************************************************  
  
The ten friends were standing around in the electronics when suddenly it went dark.  
  
"Ahhhh! Help! Help! I've gone blind!"  
  
"Shut up Pippin! I can't see either."  
  
"I don't think anyone can."  
  
"Ow! Someone just stepped on my foot!"  
  
"Sorry, who is that? Eowyn?"  
  
"Arwen."  
  
"Oh, my bad."  
  
"OK listen up everyone! Remain calm!" Faramir's voice entered the fray of shouts, screams, and other miscellaneous noises.  
  
"How and we remain calm is we can't see anything?"  
  
Faramir recognized the sound of his wife's voice and put his arm around her.  
  
There was an uncomfortable cough. "Um, Faramir, is that you?"  
  
Faramir blushed (though no one could see him) and took his arm off of Legolas's shoulder. "Sorry."  
  
"Anyway," Faramir continued, "People, remain calm! I know how to handle this situation."  
  
They could hear his footsteps moving away.  
  
"Hey where are you going?"  
  
"Yeah, don't just leave us here!"  
  
Faramir sighed. "I'm going to see if I can turn the lights back on."  
  
"How?"  
  
"You don't know where the light switch is!"  
  
Faramir sighed again. "OK, I used to work a Wal-Mart. I used to be assistant manager."  
  
Legolas gasped.  
  
If Faramir could see the looks on his friends' faces, he would treasure that moment for life. The expressions were priceless. It was what you would call a Kodak moment, if he could see them.  
  
Faramir broke the silence. "I'm leaving now," he announced.  
  
"Oh Faramir, honey, let me go with you," Eowyn pleaded, "You don't know what could be out there!"  
  
"Sheesh woman, it's just Wal-Mart!" came Gimli's voice from...somewhere.  
  
"OK, Eowyn, come with me, the rest of you, stay here," Faramir said.  
  
Pretty soon the sounds of footsteps faded and they were left all alone in the dark.  
  
A/N: Yeah I know, there's a lot of dialogue in this chapter but remember, that's the only way they can communicate since it's dark. Anyway, please review! 


	6. Evil Squeaky Things and Mormon Songs

Sorry I haven't updated this in a while but school and homework have kept me busy. I can't wait for summer! About chapter 4, my friend gets partial credit for the choking thing. We were at lunch and she started coughing and I said in a real stupid voice "Julia, are you CHOKING?" It didn't help any, but it was funny. Anyway thanks to all of my reviewers, y'all are great!  
  
Disclaimer: I own EVERYTHING! ...In my dreams...  
  
"Hey Merry," Pippin's voice came through the darkness that even an elf's eyes could not pierce.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
Merry sighed. "How am I supposed to know?"  
  
Pippin shrugged then remembered that no one could see him. "I'm bored," he complained, "Anyone have any food?"  
  
"What do I look like, a walking refrigerator?" Gimli asked, irritated. He really wanted his Gameboy.  
  
"I don't know," came Pippin's reply, "I can't see you."  
  
"Pippin, is there ever a time when you don't think about food?" Sam asked.  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
Frodo sighed and gave Pippin his Hershey bar just so he could have some peace and quiet. He didn't really mind giving up the candy bar though. It had been in his pocket for years and was probably stale by now. His suspicions were confirmed when Pippin said "Oooh! This Hershey bar tastes different! Better! It seems kind of hard and chewy though, almost like it's old and stale..."  
  
Frodo smiled to himself.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aragorn and Gandalf looked at each other.  
  
"We must hurry back," Aragorn said urgently, "Who knows what our friends might do without being able to see."  
  
They started walking, then all of the sudden Gandalf's arm shot out and stopped Aragorn in his tracks.  
  
"Aragorn! What about Gimli?"  
  
"What about him?" Why would Gandalf all the sudden care about the smelly dwarf?  
  
"He has my CD."  
  
Aragorn rolled his eyes.  
  
They were about to continue their trek through the dark when Aragorn got an idea.  
  
"Hey Gandalf, you're a wizard, right?"  
  
Gandalf mumbled something, too absorbed in his worry about his CD. Aragorn took this as a yes.  
  
"Why don't you just say a couple of magic words to turn the power back on?"  
  
Gandalf broke out of his trance-like state long enough to shoot Aragorn a disgusted look and say, "You've been reading too many Harry Potter books."  
  
Aragorn blushed.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Eowyn and Faramir inched slowly down the aisles, trying to find the light switch.  
  
"Why do you think someone turned out the lights?" Eowyn questioned her husband.  
  
"Maybe it was closing time. I wish I could see my watch."  
  
The couple pondered this idea until a high-pitched squeak came seemingly from nowhere.  
  
Eowyn screamed and jumped behind Faramir, who was wishing he had some sort of weapon with him.  
  
"W-what is it?" Eowyn whispered, "It had better not be a mouse."  
  
Faramir would have laughed at his wife's comment if the situation had not been so tense. Eowyn had a phobia of mice. She hated the little critters. It was rather amusing to see her try to chase one out of the kitchen with a broom.  
  
"Do something!" Eowyn demanded.  
  
Faramir stuck out his foot and kicked where the sound came from. It squeaked again and the both jumped back.  
  
Faramir was feeling very vulnerable right now. The squeaking thing was really starting to scare him. It's evil high squeak sent shivers up his spine. What if it was a rat; a huge oversized rodent coming to kill them all?!  
  
His crazy thoughts were interrupted by another squeak from the thing. Without thinking, he turned to run and crashed into a shelf. All of the sudden, squeaks filled the air and Faramir screamed. No, they were closing in on him, how would he ever survive?!  
  
Eowyn put a reassuring hand on Faramir's shoulder. "It's alright, honey, they're just chew toys. You know, the ones dogs chew on."  
  
Chew toys? Dogs? Faramir had never been more embarrassed in his life. He picked one up and squeezed it. It squeaked. The squeak no longer seemed evil; it now taunted him. How could he be so scared of something dogs chew on?  
  
"Eowyn, dear, could you, um, please not mention this to anyone?"  
  
Eowyn smiled and laughed. "Sure."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Back in electronics, everyone was either bored or scared. Or both in some cases.  
  
Pippin was one of the bored people. He had long since finished the stale Hershey bar (though he still didn't know it was it was stale) and was hungry again. All of the sudden, he burst into song:  
  
"I looked out my window and what did I see?  
  
Popcorn popping on the apricot tree!  
  
Spring has brought me such a nice surprise,  
  
Blossoms popping right before my eyes!  
  
I can take an armful and make a treat,  
  
A popcorn ball that would smell so sweet!  
  
It wasn't really so, but it seemed to me,  
  
Popcorn popping on the apricot tree!"  
  
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at the source of the sound.  
  
"What was that all about?" Merry asked.  
  
"Yeah, I didn't know you were Mormon, Pippin!" Sam exclaimed.  
  
Pippin was confused. "What's a Mormon?"  
  
"It's a religion," Sam said knowingly.  
  
"Oh, well I'm not a Mormon as far as I know," Pippin said, "Hey Merry, am I a Mormon?"  
  
Merry sighed. "No."  
  
"Then why were you singing a Mormon song?" Sam questioned.  
  
"That's a Mormon song?"  
  
"Nevermind."  
  
"How do you know so much about Mormons, Sam?" Legolas asked.  
  
"Oh, I had a neighbor a couple years back who was Mormon."  
  
Legolas chuckled. A Mormon hobbit, now there's a sight to see.  
  
A/N: So, how was it? Review it and tell me! A few things to clarify:  
  
*I am not Mormon but a close friend of mine is (who happens to be the Julia who helped me think of the choking thing, who also happens to be LilyEvens13)  
  
*The song Pippin sings is a Mormon song that my friend (Julia aka LilyEvens13) taught to me and we like to sing it at random times during the day  
  
*If anyone has seen The Singles Ward (a Mormon movie my friend forced me to watch and it really was quite funny!) imagine the scene where the two guys are in the kitchen with the helium balloons and singing the popcorn song. Now imagine Pippin singing it that voice in a dark empty Wal- Mart store with a bunch of other people. Yeah. The result is pretty entertaining.  
  
Oh, I'm just wondering, has anyone read the 12th Left Behind book? I'm reading it right now and it is GREAT! I LOVE it! 


	7. Discoveries and Singing

Again I'm sorry that I didn't update sooner but I've been so busy with school!!!! But summer is now here and I should update at more regular intervals. Before I start though, like always, I would like to thank my reviewers!  
  
Disclaimer: I am not J.R.R. Tolkien, therefore I do not own Lord of the Rings or any related characters. I also do not own Wal-Mart or Monty Python.  
  
Gandalf was struggling to keep up with Aragorn. The ranger was much more fit than the wizard, who was now worried about being left behind. He could barely make out the shape of Aragorn in the rapidly darkening store. All of the sudden, Aragorn vanished.  
  
The wizard dashed to the sight where he last saw Aragorn, crashing into a couple of empty carts along the way. When he finally got there, he found Aragorn sprawled out on the ground.  
  
"What happened?" Gandalf asked.  
  
Aragorn groaned. "I tripped," he managed.  
  
"Over what?"  
  
Aragorn looked around. "This," he said, "I do not know."  
  
The pair started walking again and Aragorn kicked something on the floor.  
  
"What's that?" they asked at the same time.  
  
Aragorn picked the thing up. It was too dark where they were standing to see what it was. Aragorn tried to figure it out by feeling it but it was hopeless. As a last resort, Aragorn and Gandalf walked back to the light.  
  
"Why are you so curious about this..." Gandalf paused, searching for the right word, "...thing?"  
  
"I don't know," Aragorn replied, "I somehow feel like I was destined to trip over this," he shook the object. "Like it was fate or something."  
  
Gandalf scoffed. Fate? Yeah right. Clumsiness is a better word for it.  
  
"What?" Aragorn said defensibly.  
  
"Oh nothing, nothing at all," the wizard said in that annoying tone wizards use when they don't want you to what they were thinking, "Let's just get on with this. I want my CD."  
  
Oh no, Aragorn thought. He had better not go into his sulky/whiney/pouty mode again. Sometimes that wizard can be so much like a child.  
  
When they finally got back to the doors (and the light!) and saw what the mystery object was, they gasped.  
  
It was perfect.  
  
Faramir was still slightly embarrassed over the whole chew toy incident. He only hoped that his wife would keep her mouth shut.  
  
He and Eowyn had been walking for some time now. Was he going the right way? What if they got lost? It had been years since he had been there, mainly because of Legolas's strong hate for the place. Most of the time they went to Target.  
  
Faramir squared his shoulders. It was up to him to turn the power back on. The others depended on him. He had to be the hero and save the day.  
  
He could see it now. He would discover why the lights went out and turn them on again. They would be so grateful that they would make him Ruler of Wal-Mart....  
  
Faramir was jerked out of his fantasies when he crashed into something.  
  
"Honey, are you alright?" Eowyn asked, concerned.  
  
"Um... I think so..." Faramir trailed off. Using one hand (the other was busy rubbing his smarting nose) he investigated what it was that he ran into. Hmm, it feels like a bookcase, he thought. Wait, a bookcase? "Oh no..."  
  
"What? Are you hurt?" Eowyn questioned.  
  
"No, I'm fine, it's just..." Faramir gulped, "If I remember right, the books are on the opposite side of the store than the control room..."  
  
Eowyn sighed. Why did she sometimes get the impression that her husband wasn't always the brightest star in the sky?  
  
Gimli learned something new today (or was it night? He hated the fact that he could not tell what time it was.) Hobbits were annoying. EXTREMELY annoying.  
  
The dwarf's patience was wearing thin. He missed all his Nintendo products: his N64, Super Nintendo, Gamecube, Gameboy Color, Gameboy and Gameboy Advance. Oh, how he wanted to play them again...  
  
The hobbits had been singing. Well, he shouldn't blame all the hobbits. Mainly just Merry and Pippin. For the past hour (or so Gimli thought) they had been singing the most annoying songs on earth. Right now they were singing a song from Monty Python. He guessed it was from Monty Python. While he had never actually seen any Monty Python films, nothing else could be so stupid.  
  
"His head smashed in and heart cut out,  
  
His liver removed and his bowels unplugged,  
  
His nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off,  
  
His pen-"  
  
"Is that from Monty Python and the Holy Grail?" Boromir cut in. Boromir wasn't always the shiniest trumpet in the band.  
  
"Duh, nothing else would be so stupid!" Legolas said. Wow, Gimli thought, he voiced my thoughts almost perfectly. They all could see the hobbits' singing was getting on the usually calm and collective elf's nerves.  
  
"Join us Boromir!" Pippin shouted. "Ooh! Let's sing the Monk Chant! Pies lesu domine..."  
  
Please spare us of your singing for a while," Arwen announced, trying to be as polite as she could. These two halflings were driving her crazy.  
  
"Technically we're not singing," Merry said, "We're chanting!"  
  
"Well it's just as annoying!" Legolas burst out.  
  
"Fine, if that's how you really feel..." Pippin said, pretending to be hurt by Legolas's retort.  
  
Legolas, along with everybody else, gave and exasperated sigh.  
  
Aragorn held in his hand something that would help everyone tremendously.  
  
"What is it?" Gandalf asked.  
  
"It's a flashlight, you idiot!" Aragorn snapped. Gandalf wasn't always the sharpest crayon in the box.  
  
Aragorn looked over at the wizard, who had a blank look on his face.  
  
"So..."  
  
This wizard is slower than I thought! Aragorn said to himself. Wise? A pickle is wiser than Gandalf!  
  
Aragorn tried to hide his annoyance, which was pretty hard to do. "So, with a flashlight, we can see stuff in the dark." Wow, Aragorn thought, this is like speaking to Pippin!  
  
Realization dawned upon Gandalf. "Oh..."  
  
It was all Aragorn could do to keep himself from throwing the flashlight at Gandalf in frustration. "Come on," he said instead, "Let's get some more."  
  
They traveled yet again into the darkness, and after quite a while, found the rest of the flashlights.  
  
"This is great!" Aragorn exclaimed, "Let's go back to the others now!"  
  
"What about batteries?"  
  
Aragorn stopped. He had forgotten about batteries. After all, he wasn't always the fastest horse in the race.  
  
A/N: If your wondering about the "fastest horse in the race" phrases, I was kind of bored while writing this so I saw how many I could put in here. Kind of like a personal challenge. Anyway, REVIEW!!!!! 


	8. Questions About Spam and GASP! Light!

Yep I'm updating again! Thank you to all people who reviewed. I really appreciate it! I would have had this up sooner but I've been spending a lot of time on The Fellowship of the Orange Suburban, a fic I'm doing with my sister, and haven't been focusing so much on this. Also I just bought a piccolo (It's mine, my own, my precioussss...) and have been practicing a lot. I just love piccolos! I found out it's really fun to play Rule Britannia on a piccolo! If you have one, you should try it! Ahem, now I will stop talking about piccolos and start the story.  
  
Disclaimer: I own my precious, I mean piccolo, but nothing more.

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"Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam-"  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
Pippin sighed. Some people didn't understand the rich culture of Monty Python.  
  
Merry and Pippin had sung just about every Monty Python song they knew (which was nearly all of them), and haven't been able to get all the way through one. Every time they started, someone would shush them.  
  
Kind of like Prince Herbert in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Pippin thought dully.  
  
Everyone was sitting in silence when Merry asked the question.  
  
"What is Spam anyway?"  
  
The friends looked at each other (or at least they thought they did- it's still dark). There were plenty of "Hmm..."s and "Uh..."s but no one knew the answer. It never occurred to them to look at the ingredients on the package. Then again, they didn't buy Spam much. No one really liked it much except for Boromir. Boromir was a bit out there though.  
  
What is Spam? Frodo mulled the question over in his mind.  
  
"It's a meat substitute," Arwen offered.  
  
"Yeah but what's it MADE of?"  
  
Pippin suddenly got an idea. "MEAT!" he cried out, "It's made of meat!"

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Eowyn felt they were finally making some headway. Then again, this was Faramir she was following. How he became a Captain of Gondor, she'll never know.  
  
"Honey," she said nervously, dreading the answer, "What will we do when we find the power switch? What if the lights don't come on?"  
  
"I dunno."  
  
One of the many things that drove her crazy was Faramir's reply to nearly all questions: "I dunno". It got really old really fast. Sometimes she wondered about his intelligence. But, she thought, look what he has for a father!  
  
Just as Eowyn was about to suggest turning back, Faramir stopped her. "Shh!" he whispered, "We're getting close!"  
  
Eowyn sighed. Yet again her husband was being overly dramatic. She looked at Faramir, who was now humming "Mission Impossible". He was having way too much fun.

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"Friggen batteries!" Aragorn was struggling to open a package of AA batteries while Gandalf stood back and watched.  
  
Fuming, Aragorn resorted to opening the package with one of the many blades he carried with him.  
  
"Gandalf!" he yelled. "Make yourself useful and put some batteries in those flashlights."  
  
Gandalf shrugged and got to work. Hmm...which side goes up? The or the -? Hmm...  
  
Aragorn eventually looked over to check on Gandalf.  
  
"Gandalf! What are you doing?"  
  
The wizard had gotten bored and decided to use the batteries as dominoes.  
  
"Huh?" came the reply. "Oh, nothing."  
  
Gandalf quickly gathered them up and smiled sheepishly.  
  
Aragorn glared at him. "Give me those!"

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"But if it's a meat substitute, it can't be made of meat. That's why it's called a meat SUBSTITUTE!"  
  
"I beg to differ."  
  
"Does it matter?" Legolas was extremely annoyed by now. People arguing over senseless things gave him headaches.  
  
"Yes!" cried Merry and Pippin.  
  
"You know," Gimli said, "I did a report on Spam a few years back. And I think Spam's made from the hard leftover parts of animals that are ground up and can't be eaten otherwise. Where did you hear it was a meat substitute?"  
  
"Look," Arwen said, "when the lights are back on, we'll check the ingredients on the Spam package."  
  
"Fine," said Pippin. To Merry he said, "I bet you 5 bucks I'm right."  
  
"I'm not going to bet."  
  
"Chicken! You know I'm right!"  
  
"Ok, I'll bet one dollar."  
  
"That's all?"  
  
The rest of the group sighed. The hobbits' bickering was ceaseless.

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Aragorn slammed the batteries into the flashlights. He was frustrated, angry, and quite hungry by now. Don't worry, he thought, it'll all pay off in the end. Or so he hoped.  
  
Meanwhile, Gandalf had been amusing himself by poking and prodding random objects, one of them being Aragorn (which did nothing to improve the rangers mood).  
  
"Gandalf..." he said in a tone that clearly meant, "leave me alone if you want to keep your beard". Amazingly, Gandalf took the hint and buggered off to pick at something else. He was in the middle of "tasting" a bar of soap he found on a shelf when he heard a cry of distress from the ranger.  
  
Or maybe it was triumph.

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"How much longer?" Eowyn whined, even though she already knew the answer. She braced herself; it was coming, she knew it-  
  
"I think we're there."  
  
Eowyn blinked. Faramir had just answered a question with something other than "I dunno." Unbelievable. That and the fact that they were actually at their goal was incomprehensible. Eowyn was amazed.

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Good evening gentlemen, m'lady," Aragorn said as calmly as he could, which was rather hard considering he was bursting with pride.  
  
"Aragorn, is that you?" Arwen resisted the urge to run up to him and kiss him. In the dark she might go up to the wrong person and kiss someone like Boromir. Eww. She gagged at the thought.  
  
"How did you find us in the dark?" Frodo asked.  
  
It really wasn't hard. Merry and Pippin were arguing and anyone within a ten-mile radius could hear them. All he and Gandalf had to do was follow the sound of their voices. Instead of saying any of this though, Aragorn simply replied, "I am a ranger you know."  
  
"Well I'm glad you're back!" Arwen exclaimed.  
  
"Hey doesn't anyone care about me?" Gandalf asked in a pitiful voice, "I'm back too!"  
  
Legolas dearly wanted to say "Face it! No one likes you, you old fart!" but refrained from doing so, not wanting to cause another argument. Not after Merry and Pippin.  
  
"Of course we care about you Mr. Gandalf sir," Sam said, voicing the opposite of what was on everyone's minds.  
  
"Anyway," Aragorn said, wanting to share his news, "Gandalf and I have just discovered and brought with us something that will make all of our lives a whole lot easier. You see, we found it when we were heading towards the-"  
  
"Cut to the chase already!" Gimli cried out, "We haven't got all day!" (or was it night?)  
  
"Fine," said Aragorn, rather put out for the moment, "Ahem, ladies and gentlemen, I give you..."  
  
This is it! he thought. He was about to pull the flashlight from behind his back when something happened. He could see. Wait, if he could see, that means...  
  
"Hey the lights are back on!" Boromir said, stating the obvious.  
  
Everyone, save Aragorn, started cheering.  
  
"Eowyn and Faramir must have found out what was wrong! They saved the day!"  
  
"Three cheers for the two!"  
  
In the middle of all this, Arwen came over and planted a large smooch on the depressed man's cheek.  
  
"Now what was it you wanted to show us?"

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A/N: So...did you like it? Poor Aragorn. He tries so hard. I had to turn the lights on though because Faramir was starting to scare me. Also I have finally realized that the scene change things I had been using were not showing up when I posted my chapters. At least I don't think they did. But I apologise if there was any confusion in the past. Anyway, if you haven't already, please read The Fellowship of the Orange Suburban, written by my sister and I. It is hilarious. If you like this story, you'll LOVE that one! Oh yeah, it wouldn't hurt to review! 


	9. Snowed In and Little Bitty

Wow! I'm still overwhelmed by the number of people who reviewed this story so far! If you are one of those people: THANK YOU! Now...on to the story!  
  
Disclaimer: LOTR is not mine. The song doesn't belong to me either.  
  
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Faramir whooped for joy. He had done it! He had turned the lights on!  
  
Eowyn was beaming. Yes, she thought, no more overly dramatic husbands. Or at least that's what she hoped.  
  
The couple started running to the electronics, hoping their friends were still there. When they arrived, they got a warm welcome from everyone except Aragorn, who was sulking.  
  
"So," said Pippin, "Now what?"  
  
Everybody looked around, not sure what to say. Aragorn took this chance to become the "leader" again.  
  
"Well we..." Aragorn realized that he, along with the others, didn't know what to do. "Why don't we..."  
  
"Can we get out?" Faramir asked.  
  
"No," Aragorn said, relieved that he could provide some information. "The doors are locked. Unless we break through the glass we are stuck."  
  
"That's a good idea," Frodo said, "Can we try breaking through?"  
  
"It may be our only chance."  
  
The group hurried to the front only to find the snow had piled up outside, blocking half the door.  
  
"We can't get through that!" Gimli exclaimed. "Even if we broke through the doors we couldn't get to our car, much less drive home."  
  
"Sure we can," Legolas said, desperately wanting to leave the store.  
  
Everyone looked at him.  
  
"You may be able to, elf," Gimli growled, "But what about the rest of us?"  
  
"Hey," said Arwen, who still didn't like Gimli, "I could easily leave too. I'm an elf also!"  
  
Aragorn, sensing trouble, said, "Fine. No one leaves. Let's get back to the electronics and see if we can pick up a weather station on one of the radios."  
  
With that said, he turned and started walking, hoping the others would follow. They all did except for Gandalf.  
  
"Electronics?" he said in a voice ready to cry.  
  
"Yes Gandalf, we are going to the electronics section," said Faramir, unsure of the mental condition of the ancient wizard.  
  
Gandalf rushed over to Gimli. "My CD!" he said urgently.  
  
"Oh..." The look on Gimli's face did not please Gandalf.  
  
"Don't tell me you lost it!" Gandalf cried.  
  
"Well, you see, it was dark and-"  
  
Gimli's excuse was cut off by a wail from Gandalf.  
  
"Nooo! It can't be! All is lost! Oh Valar! Just take me now! Oh... How can it be?"  
  
Everybody looked at Gandalf with an expression of annoyance, disgust, and a twinge of pity. Mostly annoyance and disgust though.  
  
"Um...Gandalf?" Eowyn asked nervously, "Can't you just get another one?"  
  
"It's not the same!"  
  
"Come on Gandalf," Arwen reasoned, "Let's go back to the CDs and I'll help you find it, ok?"  
  
"Oh, I guess so..."  
  
As Arwen and a now quiet Gandalf passed Aragorn, he mouthed, "Thank you." Arwen mouthed back, "You owe me one." Aragorn gulped.  
  
When they got to the electronics, Arwen and Gandalf went off to find the polka CD. Aragorn led the rest to a radio.  
  
"Let's see if we can pick up a weather station," he said.  
  
The ranger began flipping through the stations. Suddenly the hobbits started shouting.  
  
"Turn back!"  
  
"Go to the station you just passed!"  
  
Aragorn fiddled with the radio some. "This one?" he asked.  
  
"Yes!" the hobbits were now singing and dancing to the song that was playing.  
  
"It's all right to be little bitty  
  
A little farm house or a big ol' city  
  
Might as well share,  
  
Might as well smile,  
  
Life goes on for a little bitty while!"  
  
As the four hobbits continued singing the rest of the group looked at each other in puzzlement. What were the halflings doing?  
  
"A good ol' boy and a pretty little girl,  
  
Start all over in a little bitty world  
  
Little bitty plan and a little bitty dream,  
  
It's all part of a little bitty scheme."  
  
The sane ones- I mean the un-hobbits, were starting to get worried about them. It's not every day you get to see hobbits (trying to) breakdance. Aragorn was just reaching for the power button when the song ended. The hobbits, out of breath, sat down and acted as if nothing had happened.  
  
"Um...what was that all about?" Legolas asked uneasily.  
  
"Oh, that?" Pippin said, still trying to catch his breath, "That was our theme song, 'Little Bitty.'"  
  
"Ok..."  
  
Faramir broke the awkward silence that followed this by saying, "Maybe we should check on the weather station now."  
  
"Oh, yes," said Aragorn, and quickly found the right station. Everyone listened with bated breath to the staticy forecast. Boromir hit the radio with his fist and it came in clearer:  
  
"Well folks, this is a great day to stay indoors. Hehe, not like you could actually go outside... Anyway, today's forecast is: snow. Well, that's quite obvious, folks! I sure hope you have some food stored up because according to our radar, we are experiencing a snowstorm that will last at least five days, maybe more, and it seems like we still have the worst to come. Be on the lookout for more heavy snowfall, high winds, and maybe even some hail. Well folks, it's quittin' time for me! Ahem, I mean, have a wonderful day and stay indoors!"  
  
Aragorn turned off the radio. They had heard all they needed to hear. Their situation was worse than they had thought.  
  
"Well," Aragorn said shakily, "Might as well get comfortable. We're not leaving anytime soon."  
  
And with that he went off to break the news to Arwen and Gandalf.  
  
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A/N: Sorry if this chapter isn't as long as the others, but I wanted to get this up before I go on vacation. So...review? Please? 


	10. Cheap CDs and FARMER MAGGOT'S CROPS!

Woohoo! I hit the triple digits! I just got my 100th review! Thanks goes to my friend LilyEvans13 for being number 100! I suppose you can have party, when you're over at my house next time...we can stay up late watching Monty Python and eating random food items... Anyway, thank you all who reviewed! I am amazed at the number! Wow! Now I'm sorry that this took me so long to write but I haven't been feeling to well, and my sister has been hogging the internet. This chapter is really short (such a shame - it's the tenth chapter too!) and I'm sorry, but I couldn't really make it any longer. It's just one of those chapters that aren't really that funny or exciting but are still necessary to the plot. Ok, I'll stop rambling now and get on with the story...  
  
Disclaimer: I own...um...I must own something....hmm...well, I sure don't own Lord of the Rings or Wal-Mart...what DO I own?  
  
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"Five days?" Arwen asked.  
  
"At least," said Aragorn, "Who knows how long we'll be in here. By the way," he added, "Did you find the..."  
  
Arwen put a finger to her lips and shook her head. She had just calmed Gandalf and didn't want to get him riled up again.  
  
Fortunately Aragorn got the point and didn't say anything else on the matter. The three walked back silently to the others.  
  
When everyone had recovered from the shock of the news - it took some of them quite awhile (like Legolas) - they began to formulate a plan. In the midst of it though, Pippin, who wasn't paying attention, said, "I'm hungry."  
  
Everyone stopped what they were doing. Food. They WERE in a Wal-Mart...  
  
"But that would be shoplifting!" Aragorn said, voicing the conclusion of everyone's thoughts.  
  
"Oh, come on!" said Boromir, "We have to eat. What are we supposed to do, starve for the next five days?"  
  
"We could leave money for what we eat," Eowyn suggested.  
  
Aragorn mulled the idea over in his mind. "True...but all the money we have is $2.50..."  
  
"$2.50?" Sam cried, "How could Mr. Gandalf buy a CD with that?"  
  
Arwen and Aragorn, looked at each other, then at Gandalf. The last thing they needed was a tantrum from him, which could start at the mention of his precious CD. Gandalf didn't seem to notice though. He might have been asleep, they couldn't really tell.  
  
"Gandalf's CD was only $1.99," Aragorn said. At the looks of disbelief on his friends' faces, he added, "It was on the clearance rack. Do you think anyone would pay $14.99 for THAT?"  
  
"I wouldn't buy that if it was free!" Gimli grumbled.  
  
"I would!" Pippin said.  
  
Merry sighed. "Yes Pippin, we know you would."  
  
"Ok everyone, how about this, we will eat but sparingly," Aragorn said, "When we get out of here, and yes Merry we WILL get out of here, we will leave what money we have, and pay for whatever's left as soon as we can. Got it?"  
  
"What about the fruit?" Pippin asked, "We shouldn't let it go to waste. By the time we leave it will all be rotten."  
  
"To bad. We can't afford to pay for all that fruit. It's too expensive.  
  
"Where will we sleep?" Eowyn asked.  
  
"They have bedding section here don't they?" said Faramir, "We can 'borrow' some blankets."  
  
"How will we bathe?"  
  
Aragorn hadn't thought about that. Bathing wasn't his top priority. "Um...sinks?"  
  
"You can't take a bath in a sink!" Arwen exclaimed.  
  
"We'll let you women figure that one out for yourselves." Aragorn said.  
  
Both Arwen and Eowyn sighed.  
  
"Look everyone," Faramir said, "Use only what is necessary, and the cheapest at that."  
  
"Exactly," Aragorn said exasperated.  
  
"No problem," said Boromir, "for us men at least. Hobbits on the other hand...are you sure they can 'eat sparingly'? That's a lot to ask of a halfling..."  
  
"Oh come on," Frodo objected, "Hobbits can cut back on our diets as much as anyone. Right guys?" He turned to Sam, who was dreaming of potatoes, Merry, who was dreaming about mushrooms, and Pippin, who was dreaming of rocks – I mean a heaping pile of Farmer Maggot's Crops (A/N: come on I wouldn't make Pippin THAT stupid...) – and drooling. Frodo nudged Sam, who stepped on Merry's foot, who crashed into Pippin.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Wha- what?"  
  
"FARMER MAGGOT'S CROPS!!!"  
  
Everyone looked at Pippin.  
  
"You were saying..." Boromir prompted.  
  
Frodo glared at him.  
  
"I'm sure the hobbits will abide to the rules a good as the rest of us. Let's not get worked up about something stupid," Aragorn said, coming to Frodo's defense. Aragorn and Boromir didn't get along too well.  
  
"So," said Legolas, "What do we do now?"  
  
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A/N: I know, it's not the best chapter ever, but oh well. Chapter 11 will be better, and more fun for me to write... So please review! 


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